Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
