doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
