Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i think i have herpe
just one?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
