You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
