i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
