mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
