I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
zippers are such a cool invention
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
