She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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