hotel room ftw
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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