at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
