If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
