you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
