i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I did not marry a roomba.
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