How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
