you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize