There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
