Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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