lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
