If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
