I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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