how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
