piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
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Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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