why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
