so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
