I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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