Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
