I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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