Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
