Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
