How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
