finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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