Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
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You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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