I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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