this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
