Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
