So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
