what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
