It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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