I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
