I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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