I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize