Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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