For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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