I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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