Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
me + whiskey = a bad person
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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