I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
