My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
