I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
