peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
