Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
not ubering you a puppy
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
