Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize