Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?