we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.