She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing