One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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