We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
