it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
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steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.