i can juggle bunnies
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.