I have demons in me.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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