it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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