he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
