Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
