Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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