I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize