omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
