i permit you to call me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
