No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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