Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
