So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
