Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
