ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was born a porn star she said
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
