Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
