i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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