Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
