Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
