My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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