1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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